There is no right way or wrong way to grieve or express grief. Dealing with grief is different for everyone. No two people grieve in the same way or experience exactly the same grief. There are, however, similarities in the grieving process. Feelings of despair, anger, resentment, guilt are all normal.
The truth is from the very day you were born death became a part of life. Grief is a dark, desperate, and lonely place that takes time to move on from. Whether you are grieving or want to support someone who is grieving it is important to try and understand the grieving process in order to either help yourself or others.
The pillars of grief and mourning are universal and are experienced by people from all walks of life. There are five pillars of grief. Denial and isolation, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance are a part of the framework that makes up our learning to live with loss and the trauma of losing someone close to us through death. In a way, these emotions are tools to assist us in identifying what we may be feeling through the process of grieving.
The pillars of grief, as I call them, are commonly known as the stages of grief. This is not an accurate way of looking at the grieving actions and emotions. To me, personally, pillars seems a far more fitting word to describe the process of working through the grief and picking one’s self up again. It is important to remember that the pillars are not stops on a linear timeline in grief.
Grieving is a personal journey, no one can tell you exactly how to do it or deal with it. There are a few things to consider doing during the grieving process that might make the experience a little more bearable and easier to manage.
- Surround yourself with supportive friends and family
- Think of the good times and keep the memories alive
- You don’t have to do it alone, lean on those closest to you
- Take time off so that you can process what has happened
- Allow yourself to feel and go through the process