Getting Through a Messy Breakup

Let’s face it, breakups suck, especially when it is a long-term relationship or marriage that has broken down beyond repair. Regardless of who broke up with whom and why it’s not always pretty. Some couples are lucky enough to leave their relationships behind without it becoming an ugly affair, but, this is not in the majority of cases. More often than not the lead-up and aftermath of a breakup, separation or divorce can be exceptionally messy.

Once the decision has been made to go separate ways moving on can be extremely difficult and it can take a really long time to get back into an ok space. Unless you have fallen for someone else moving on from a relationship or marriage doesn’t happen overnight or on the day you decide to break up and often the lead up to a breakup can take months or years. Once the breakup is in motion and moving out or packing up belongings from the top draw is happening it can be a grim, distressing, and chaotic experience.

So, what do we do to make getting through a breakup an easier process? What can we do to take the breakup bull by the horns and take the steps to move on with life? How do we create a buffer and embrace the space? Here are a few practical steps to take that will make the transition a little smoother and help you to move on sooner rather than later.

Move Out with All of The Belongings: Whether you are the one moving out or your ex is, make sure all the moving out party’s belongings are packed up and gets on the truck or in the boot of the car. Don’t make excuses to have to come back and collect the rest of the belongings left behind. Avoid another argument or confrontation. Make a clean break.

Do Not Make Those Phone Calls of Torture: Do not pick up the phone because you’re in the missing space, and do not make that call if you are drunk. If you’re the one being called then skip the call. Keep your distance. Everything worthwhile takes time. There is no need to open another can of worms or have a pointless conversation. Make the choice to move on and stick to it and don’t keep scratching at an open wound or you will never heal.

Do Not Stalk Your Former Person on Facebook: In this case, Facebook is NOT your friend. If you are not capable of staying friends on Facebook without landing on your ex’s page on a far too regular basis then consider unfriending your former partner to making moving on easier. Don’t waste your time instead think of spending time on something more productive. Don’t look for evidence of a new relationship and obsess about the new person on your ex’s arm, it is not worth torturing yourself and you are only holding yourself back. Focusing on getting your own life on track and take the time to do things for you.

Keep Yourself Occupied When You’re Alone: Do not sit idle, it’s important to keep yourself busy. Do not spend time in your head and thinking about could have, would have, and should have been. Take up a new hobby, get out, exercise, make your space your own and get settled in, scroll YouTube, or open your laptop and do some work. Sitting around feeling sorry for yourself and throwing a pity party by yourself is just not a vibe, so, get into single.

Get Out to Socialise with Your Friends: If you don’t want to hang alone at home because you can’t want to or don’t want to do the former, then call a friend or get a few of them together and get social. Spending time with some of your favourite people and having a little fun can make you feel like a million bucks. Have a laugh, talk things through, and focus on the positive things; do NOT be the party pooper, the idea is to have a good time.

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